Get Married Young Man / Marriage / Relationships

Get Married, Young Man, Part 5: How to Meet Good Women

50s-love-jpgThis post is part of a series on dating and marriage.

Previously, I wrote a list of things you should look for in a wife. Now, you might be thinking, That’s nice, but how on earth do I find a quality woman?

That’s a fair question. The problem in answering it is that there are dozens of ways to meet women, and no correct formula for meeting Miss Right. Sometimes meeting your spouse is a seemingly random act of providence that you could never have planned. Or maybe your future spouse is your high school sweetheart. The possibilities are endless.

And that’s why it’s so important to pray as you seek a spouse. God, in his providence, can arrange circumstances or seemingly chance meetings that you could never have planned.

But no matter how you meet your spouse, trust me, there are many beautiful, virtuous, and holy young women out there, and they are praying for a husband.

1. Church – The best way, in my opinion, to meet a good Catholic woman is through your parish. Find a parish with reverent liturgy and strong catechesis— quality women seem to be drawn to sacredness, truth, and beauty. Then, get involved in your parish’s community life. Don’t dash for the door the moment mass ends, but rather get to know people and serve in various capacities.

2. Friends – Your friends know people you don’t. That’s a fact. And if you have good friends, they probably know quality women. If you hang out with the right kind of people, it will highly increase your chances of meeting a virtuous woman.

3. Volunteering – If you’re passionate about a specific cause, volunteer with an organization that advocates for it. a good place to meet women who share your beliefs.

4. School – If you’re a college student, or will be soon, your years in college can provide many opportunities for meeting women. If you go to a state school, get involved with the Catholic community on your campus (hopefully there is one). If you go to a strong Catholic college, even better.

5. Online – A few years ago, I would never, ever have recommended dating online. I determined I would never do it, and I figured that if you chose that path, you were either desperate or crazy. Then I met my wife. Online. To make a long story short, we both read an article in Christianity Today about a small, niche dating site for Christians of a Calvinist persuasion (we are converts). We both signed up, I sent her a message, and the rest is history.

Now, I will say that dating online requires an extra degree of caution. It is very easy to fake a persona or be generally deceptive. Still, because I met my wife online, and she is a wonderful woman, I can’t rule it out as a possible avenue for meeting a spouse. But I wouldn’t recommend it as the first option either.

Conclusion

There is no formula for meeting your future spouse, but there are things you can do to increase the chances of meeting the right kind of women. Remember, meeting a good woman is only half the battle. After you’ve met her, you have to be overcome your fear of rejection and actually ask her out. But that’s another topic.

If you’re married, how did you meet your wife? What suggestions do you have?

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10 thoughts on “Get Married, Young Man, Part 5: How to Meet Good Women

  1. I heard of a good Calvinist pick-up line once. “Hey there, your name must be Grace because I find you irresistible.” Not sure if you used that one or not….
    Thanks for all your continued great advice!

    • Well, I’m unmarried so what do I know, hey? 🙂 But I recently went on a very good Catholic Bible study weekend and there were plenty of nice men there. I think the advice in this post works for women hoping to find good men too, although a particular challenge might be that there seem to be fewer young men at Mass than young women. I think that can be overcome by sticking to the more reverent parishes or trying out EF parishes.

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