Let’s Talk About Porn

Let’s talk about porn. I know it it’s an uncomfortable subject, but ignoring it will do no good. The fact is, pornography addiction is a massive and growing problem—especially for men. If you don’t believe me, here are some shocking statistics:

• 12% of websites online are pornographic
• Every second, over 28,000 people are looking at porn
• 40 million Americans are regular porn viewers
• 70% of men aged 18-24 regularly look at porn
• The average age children are first exposed to porn is 11 years old

I could cite many more disturbing stats, but you get the point. Keep in mind the above statistics are at least two years old, and the rate of porn use is increasing exponentially every year. These statistics are probably on the conservative side.

What porn will do to you

It is difficult to exaggerate just how evil pornography is. It will destroy your marriage (or religious vocation) and other relationships. It will corrupt your intellect, emotions, and will, filling your mind with thousands of vile images that won’t go away. It will pull you deeper and deeper in, until you are looking at perversions you could not have imagined. It will become a need so intense you can no longer function normally without it. It will drive you to act on evil impulses, perhaps leading to sexual violence. It will rack you with guilt, driving you from your Creator and Redeemer. It will become everything to you. It will consume you. It will destroy your soul and send you to hell.

Porn is not a harmless private habit. It is a cancer that will work its way into every area of your life, corrupting everything.  I don’t say all this to discourage someone who may be struggling with pornography. Rather, my hope is that, if you are struggling, you will take it seriously and get help as soon as possible.

What to do

Yes, pornography is a big problem, but guess what, Jesus Christ is bigger. He has conquered sin and death, and he can destroy the sin in your life through his grace. Never despair, never lose hope in the power and mercy of God. I want to give you 7 things to do right now if you are struggling with pornography.

1. Don’t trust yourself – The number one way to fall in your struggle against sexual sin is to depend upon yourself. The minute you trust yourself and your own self-control, you will fall very soon afterwards. Acknowledge you have a problem and have a healthy distrust of yourself. Then, do whatever is necessary to prevent a fall.

Install filters on your computers. In fact, get rid of your computer or smartphone if they are causing you to fall. Be radical. Jesus said, “If your eye offends you, pluck it out.” Whatever you do, don’t believe you can handle this by yourself, which leads me to my next point.

2. Get help – You cannot win this battle alone. You need the support of others, and you need accountability. As hard as it might be, find a man you can trust and ask if he will be your accountability partner. I strongly urge you to also enroll in a program like RECLAiM Sexual Health. This is a completely anonymous Catholic program designed to help men recover from pornography addiction.

3. Go to confession – Guilt has a perverse way of driving us to the very thing that can heal us from it—confession. Do not let guilt or shame drive you from confessing your sins. Force yourself to go even if it is the last thing you want to do. Penance is a sacrament that gives us grace and strength, heals our souls, and bathes us in the precious blood of Jesus Christ.

Cheat the devil of his victory and receive the mercy of Jesus. If you need extra motivation, study the Divine Mercy message. No matter what you’ve looked at, you can always find abundant mercy in the confessional. Who cares how you feel. Just go!

4. Receive the Eucharist as often as possible – Receiving Jesus in the Eucharist is not a reward for good behavior, it is a remedy for the sickness of sin. Never receive him in a state of mortal sin, but also don’t avoid this most powerful sacrament because you feel unworthy. Go to confession as often as possible, and then receive Jesus as shortly afterwards as possible. The powerful combination of these two sacraments will change your life.

5. Consecrate yourself to Mary – Our Lady is the refuge of sinners and the hope of the guilty. She specializes in protecting and helping her children. That’s her whole job as your mother. Consecrating your life entirely to her is a powerful method for conquering the power of the devil. Do it today, and begin the practice of 3 Hail Marys for purity.

6. Join the Angelic Warfare Confraternity – I won’t go into all the details of this powerful confraternity, but suffice it to say that many men have found participation in it to be a powerful help against temptations to sexual sin. Find out how you can join here.

7. Be patient – Finally, never give up. We have a tendency to want instant results, and if we do not see them we give up and assume freedom will never come. That simply isn’t true. While radical transformations can happen, most of the time change does not happen immediately. If you fall, do not despair. Always look to Christ and his most blessed Mother. Pick yourself up and keep fighting the good fight.

(If you are feeling discouraged, read St. Maximilian Kolbe’s advice on repeated, serious sin.

Conclusion

Men, please, I beg you, do not take pornography lightly. It is so incredibly destructive. If you aren’t struggling with it, thank God for his grace, for that is the only thing keeping you from it. But never pridefully assume you are immune to it. If you are struggling with it, please get help today.

Never forget, Jesus loves you with all the love of his Sacred Heart. He died for you, he is on your side, and he wants to deliver you.

Finally, let’s be strong men of purity, chaste and holy and fighting to preserve the garment of salvation we have received in Holy Baptism. May God help us to do so.